Sex vs. The Parasites: Round 1

(FYI: This is something I wrote in 2006, but never posted on the blog, so enjoy!) 

Sex vs.The Parasites: Round 1

It all happened like this, as Charles (not his real name) and I were driving together one day in my FedEx truck to unload a truck full of overnight goodies to somewhere in Naperville, or Wheaton, or one of those Chicago burbs.
"Richard," asked Charles in his Sean Connery-ish British accent, " do you know why we have sex?"  ("we" meaning "human beings"...).   Now, knowing that Charles was a staunch Darwinist evolutionist (I'll tell you more about how Charles and me talk another time), my bet was something scientific-sounding was about to be unleashed on my mind.   "Well Charles, I know why I have sex!" I replied with a smile.  Chuckle, chuckle.   While that was pretty much true, I knew it just had to be the wrong answer, so I asked what the supposed real reason was I, and all other humans, had sex.  "Parasites," Charles quickly told me.  "We have sex because of parasites."  Of course, it all made sense now.  It's parasites. Parasites?  Charles went on to tell me that, according to his reading, asexual creatures evolved into sexual creatures as a way to overcome parasites.  Apparently parasites' ability to populate new hosts was greatly diminished when they had to deal with new and different DNA.  In other words, asexual life forms (those that reproduce without union between male and female; sexless) are easier attacked by parasites because their DNA stays the same in their 'offspring.'  This means the parasites can continue living on in each subsequent generation of that lifeform.  Since sexual union between a male and female bring two different DNA strands together, a completely new DNA strain is made in the offspring.  It is a combination of DNA.  Thus, the parasites are thwarted and must regroup and figure out a new battle plan for this new creature.  Or they just give up and die.   So, in Charles' mind, sex came about through evolution as a way to frustrate those pesky parasites. 

Yes, the Evolution Fairy saw that parasites were getting the upper hand against other organisms so over the course of billions of years, she sprinkled her magic sex dust on these poor sexless creatures and slowly but surely they became different.  Some of them started growing 'slot A' parts and some started growing 'tab B' parts.  Of course it took them a few million years just to figure out what the heck these things were for.  

 Overheard between a couple of evolving organisms: 'What's that thing growing down there?'

'I have no idea, but it looks like it might fit in that thing there of yours...' 

And the rest was history.

Now, to be fair to Charles, he didn't mention anything about a 'Fairy.'  But I'm pretty sure that what he talked about had to include a fairy because I just don't see it happening any other way.  How else would these organisms figure this out, and over such a long period.  Let's figure that a couple asexual organisms, we'll call them Lynn and Morgan, figure out this great plan. 

"You know what, Morgan?"

"What's that, Lynn?"

"Well, I've been thinking about this problem with the parasites we've been having, you know?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I was thinkin', what if I could grow a thing that would stick out; kinda how a pencil or pen is.  Maybe we could call it a 'pen-' or 'pencil-is'.  I'll have to think about that." 

"Continue..." 

"Then you, see, you could grow something this 'pencil-is' could go into.  The 'pencil-is' would send DNA over to this other thing, which would be a complex, hidden contraption, that would have it's own DNA ready to meet up with my DNA.  We could create some way for them to unite and make a whole new organism with new DNA.  And by the way, it will feel really good!  We'll show those parasites!"  "Yeah!"  "Hey, LOOK OUT, PARASITES!!"  And Lynn and Morgan are attacked by parasites and die.

I could get into a scientific debate about all this and go on and on, back and forth with facts.  We could argue point and counterpoint.  I don't disagree that parasites have a harder time dealing with sexual reproduction than with asexual.  I just don't assume this is something that evolved.  I believe sex is much bigger than a "parasite frustrater plan."
I think Sex was God's idea; a wonderfully complex occurrence that, in humans, wraps physical, emotional, and spiritual components all together in a beautiful way.  To be sure, sex is above all about reproduction.  God told us to "be fruitful and multiply."  Without sex, any given animal, bird, or reptile species will not continue on.  Even flowers need pollen to be passed to other flowers to reproduce.  (I'm not a scientist, so I won't go further than that.)  It's just not the only aspect of sex.
Of course, sex feels really good.  I mean, it's not like people are tempted into all kinds of sexual issues because orgasms feel like some horrible stomachache.  They feel great.  That is probably the most obvious statement in the world.  I've never seen a t-shirt that read, "I hate orgasms."  That's how God made it to be, to feel good.  Maybe God made it feel so great so that we'd be sure and reproduce.  That is true but there are other reasons, I believe.
The key reason God made sex, I believe, was to connect the souls of a man and woman in a beautiful way.   It's what marriage is all about.  Adam and Eve were "naked and unashamed."  When a man and woman come together that way, their souls unite. A bond is created.  The Bible talks about how they "become one."  What an awesome picture.  It is also why sex outside of marriage is so tragic.  When someone goes from one person to the next having sexual relations, he/she is "becoming one" with multiple people, thus creating a soul that is divided.  We all crave intimacy, even in non-sexual forms.  We long to be known completely by somebody, and to be loved unconditionally.  When two people give themselves only to each other sexually, they have something strong--a soul bond of love.  I know this from experience. It is worth fighting for and waiting for.
We could go on about how the marriage union demonstrates God's relationship and love for His Church, which is perhaps the most powerful part of it all.  However, that would take way too long and my son, Jack, is waking up, so that will have to wait for now.